Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Trim Bin #50

- I hate hipsters.

Last night, Jess and I went to a screening of Jurassic Park at the Mahaiwe; it was a blast, reminding me of how, at the age of nine, my anticipation of the film bordered on religious hysteria and, once I'd seen the film, I could talk about nothing except velociraptors and computer animation (the future!). So it was a real sock in the gut when, exiting the theatre, I overheard a gaggle of scruffy-bearded, sneering, clove-smoking punks laughing and patting themselves on the back for having successfully murdered their inner children long ago ("I'd forgotten how cheesy that movie is." "The effects were so fake." "I remember it being scarier.").

Hipsters totally suck. They were into emo in high school, and they've evolved into something just as pretentious but less emotionally honest. They're completely parasitic - they have no reason to exist outside of declaring superiority to the culture surrounding them, like dogs marking their territory. I mostly disagree with notorious contrarian Armond White's generalizations about what is hip and what is square, but now I can say that I at least sympathize with the force of his conviction. These people are going to be the new yuppies someday (neo-neocons?). They're bastards. They can't even appreciate a good t-rex attack.

- The Film Criticism Blog-A-Thon, run by Andy Horbal at No More Marriages!, yielded more than forty insightful entries on the subject (including a funny piece about the aforementioned Mr. White).

- Poltergeist remake: totally unnecessary, sacrelige, Hollywood's out of ideas, etc.

- The Lovely Bones comepletely surpasses the expectations of an "Oprah's Book Club" selection. It's a minor masterpiece, narrated by a dead 14-year-old girl as she watches the aftermath of her murder from heaven. The characters are exceptionally well-crafted, and the narrative moves swiftly between a tense police procedural, a deadpan take on the afterlife, and the ongoing lives of the dead girl's family as they attempt to mend their broken lives. I must say, I'd much rather see Peter Jackson do this than The Hobbit; he's been there, and The Lovely Bones could be a bold return to the strong character-driven work that Heavenly Creatures (still his best film) showed he can excel at. Casting suggestion: Dakota Fanning as Susie Salmon, the ghostly narrator. As an added bonus, this will surely keep the hipster demographic away.

I understand completely, Armond.

- Hot Fuzz!

Rebecca 9
Zabriskie Point
The Fountain
The Pink Panther
(1963) 8
She's Having a Baby
In the Mouth of Madness
Jurassic Park
The Devil's Advocate


Anonymous said...

Hot Fuzz definitely looks like the best police movie since Super Troopers. I love Simon Pegg.

Anonymous said...

Hipsters also nearly ruined my experience of seeing The Shining at Images. I say "nearly", because that film is too amazing to really be ruined by anything. But there were so many skinny Williams College nutsacks giggling at poor Shelley Duvall's hysteric arm-flapping running around the hotel and making snide comments on the way out, I felt like grabbing one of them by the lapels and yelling "let's see how well YOU could keep your shit together if your husband tried to kill you with an axe!"

Anonymous said...

Your commentary is something I've wanted to find words to express for a long time, just never been sure how to say it.
It irritates me to no end to see people who see it as a neccesity to dislike everything simply for the sake of hating it. They would rather find fault in something than a means to enjoy it. I may not always like someone's expression of art, but I can agree that it is art, whereas hipsters only see value in what they declare to be good. Something that is even remotely mainstream can only be worthless in their eyes.
I worry about what happens when they are in places that can influence the next generation.

Andrew Bemis said...

I'm glad to hear it didn't come off as too ranty.